


And baby all I want for christmas is you.

by graceisintodrummers



Series: HarryandLouis [1]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Advent Calendar, Christmas, Christmas Fluff, M/M, idk - Freeform, just a lot of Fluff really, larry stylison - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-01
Updated: 2013-12-24
Packaged: 2018-01-03 04:41:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 24
Words: 17,173
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1065875
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/graceisintodrummers/pseuds/graceisintodrummers
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Louis wants to show Harry how much he loves him.</p><p>Or the one where Louis makes an advent calendar for his boyfriend Harry Styles.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. 12/01/2013

**Author's Note:**

> I just came up with it in my head when I was thinking about December and it really got me.
> 
> This one's for my baby cakes, because she doesn't really know how important she is :)

Harry walks trough the dark streets, just trying to get some fresh air. He loves London by night. Especially when it's winter. He could get lost in the flickering light of the street lamps just breathing in the cold air and humming 'Streets of London'. He needs time to thinks too. The last month has been pretty busy. Well, who is he kidding, the last year was. Too many people, too many rules, too many pictures taken, too many crowded rooms, where he felt lonely and too less time to spend with his loved ones. He really hopes this will change in December. It would be so great to have a few days off. This is really everthing he wishes for.

He puts his hands in the pockets of his jacket because he is freezing a little bit as he feels something, that shouldn't be there. Some kind of paper he guesses and takes it out. It really is a piece of paper and it is folded in half. " _To Harry Styles. Wish you a wonderful first day in December"_ is written in handwriting he knows maybe better than his own.

His heart beats a little to fast as he carefully unfolds the letter.

_Honey,_

_as you know, Christmas is the time of love and happiness. And I think, sometimes I fail to tell you how much I love you because I can't even put it in words. But I want to show you how important you are to me, so be prepared to find a little letter everyday from now till December 24th. I love you Harry, I love you so much and I know I suck in showing it to you. I know that I'm not fair to you sometimes, but that's just because I'm afraid. I'm afraid that I will lose you someday, because there is someone who can make you happier. I want to make you happy, Harry, but it's so hard when I know that I can't give you the one thing that you really wish for. But I promise you, one day, we'll tell the world. I will tell everyone how much you mean to me. Just give me some time baby._

_I love you, don't you ever forget that._

_Yours, truly Louis_

_  
_There are tears in the corner of Harry's eyes as he finishes the letter. He folds it and puts it back in his pocket. Then he turns around and walks away. He realy needs to go home now. To Louis.


	2. 12/2/2013

Harry wakes up to a note from Louis and his mood lightens immediately. Yesterday had been a good night, after he had gone home to his boyfriend, they went to the premiere of class of 92. It had been great mostly because he had had the chance to shake hands with David Beckham.  
But it had also been a horrible night because the management hadn't allowed him to arrive with Louis and Niall or even interact with the other boys to whole evening. He had been so glad when he was finally home in Louis' arms.  
Carefully he unfolded the note.

_Harry, my love, I hope you slept well. Today I have not so much words for you but more than a promise._   
_I promise one year from now, we'll go to another premiere, I don't even care which one. And one year_   
_from now I'll be holding your hand on this red carpet and I will kiss you in front of the cameras and show everyone how happy I am._   
_Oh and one year from now I will finally meet David, I can't believe you shook his hand and I haven't. You are a bastard Harry Styles. But you're my bastard and I love you._

_And I'll keep my promises. All of them. Just hold on to that when you're feeling like everything falls apart._

_Forever yours , Louis_

_  
_A smile comes up on Harry's face. He knows that there is a show tonight he is supposed to attend. There will be cameras and flash lights and people talking the same old shit but he won't care. He is happy today. Genuienly happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks everyone for reading, hope you had a good start into December :) 
> 
> 3 more weeks to go ;)


	3. 12/3/2013

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It is the 3rd of December 2013 and Harry is happy.

Today, Harry is in the exact same good mood as yesterday. He won a freaking fashion award for gods sake, he doesn't even know how that happened. Seriously, he has two pairs of jeans and one of them has fucking holes at the knees. But whatever, Harry is proud, it had been a good evening. It is always a good evening when he knows he can go home and sleep in the same bed as Louis. It's not really about missing him or something, it's just that he doesn't like to sleep alone. And yeah, of course it is even better lying next to someone you love, not so speak of the sex but yeah.  
He tries not to think about how Louis looks naked but on the breakfast he is making.  
 _"I don't care what people say when we're together, you know I wanna be the one who holds you in your_  
 _sleep. I just want it to be you and I forever, I know you wanna leave so come on baby be with me so happily._ '" Harry sings along as he scrambles the eggs.  
 _"We're on fire, we're on fire, we're on fire nooooooooow"_  
He turns around as he sings and immediately stops as he sees Louis in the door frame.  
"How long have you been standing here?" Louis laughs and steps closer to the younger boy. "Long enough to fall in love with you. If that wasn't already thecase."  
"You're so sweet when you make breakfast, especially if it's for me." Harry smiles and takes Louis hand.  
"Who said it was for you?" Louis smirks he takes something out of his pocket. "Just wanted to give you your letter before I take a shower. Breakfast smells great honey." The smaller boy gets on his tiptoes to peak harry's lips for not more than a second and then he's gone leaving Harry alone in the kitchen with a letter in his right hand.

_Baby cakes, I think I should tell you more often how proud you make me. I mean seriously you just won a fashion award. My boyfriend won a fashion award, wow. I think not many people can say that._   
_It is really hard to find words for what I feel when I look at you, so I will borrow some of John Green's words:_   
_**I think if people where rain , I was  drizzle and he was a hurricane.**_

_You're a hurricane harry styles, a good hearted, breath taking, beautiful hurricane and you came into my life and turned everything upside down. But in a good way and I wouldn't change a thing. You make day brighter and my smile wider and my heart bigger and my life better. You're everything to me. If they would ask me you would win every single award in this world because you're my unbeaten number 1._

_Always and forever._  
 _Ps: and now hurry to get in the shower with me sweetheart_.

Louis doesn't have to say this twice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shake up the hapiness, wake up the happiness,  
> shake up the happines, IT'S CHRISTMAS TIME :))
> 
> Thanks for reading :) Do you love Christmas as much as I do :)?xx


	4. 12/4/2013

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Louis tells Harry what "Storng" is about.

Today Harry finds is letter in the cupboard when he is making tea. Louis knows which one Harry likes the most and he must have put it in there before he left the house to hit the gym with Liam. Harry finishes making his tea, sits down on their big and totally comfortable couch and unfolds the letter. His heart beats a little faster as he reads the first lines.

_Baby cakes, today I'm going to tell you how I wrote "Strong". I know you always wanted to know and it is kind of obvious that I wrote it for you, but I never told you what it all is about and when the idea came to my head. Let's start right from the beginning._

_The feeling that you make me better, stronger, started in the X-Factor days. When I look back I remember being nervous and afraid before our first live performance, I even thought about quitting, running away. I thought I would fail, I would ruin it for you guys. But then you came in the dressing room and you saw me standing there. You hugged me so thight Harry, I don't know if you remember. But I felt better immediately. I felt like I could make it, like I was really strong. And from that moment I needed a hug from you everytime before I got on stage. I needed to feel you, your hands on my back made me feel strong. Actually I still do._

_The second time I felt like this was when you kissed me for the first time. I felt so weak when I told you that I was in love with you, I was literally shaking. But than you kissed me Harry and everything was right._

_The third time was last winter after the MSG. I was so angry about our management, because of all this Haylor-shit and I wanted to protect you from going trough this, I wanted to protect us, to save us, but I thought I couldn't. There was just no way, at least I didn't see one. But then you told me that we would make it together, and that we could do everythin. judt the two of us. And I knew that you were right._

_Harry, people are saying that you shouldn't need anyone than yourself all the time. They are saying that you have to be strong on your own or else you won't make it. But let me say this babe, it's bullshit. I need you. You make me strong. And there's nothing wrong with it. That, dear people, is called love. And I will never be as strong as I am with you. So that's what the song is about. I love you Harry, I love you, and I would really like to kiss you right know._

_Your, and only your, Louis  
_

Harry blinks away tears in his eyes as he folds the letter. He decides to kiss Louis really hard as soon as he sees him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> They said there will be snow tomorrow :) That would be so great.  
> love you all xxx


	5. 12/5/2013

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> America.

On Thursday the 5th of December 2013 Harry wakes up in America by the voice of someone he knows all to well.

"Harry waake we're having breakfast and thean we're going to go on rehersals." Harry groans and turna himself away from the boy who is now jumping up and down on his bed. "Niall, go away." The older boy laughs and starts to tickle his friend. "No you have to get up now. And I have something for you!" Harry freezes and looks up at his blonde head. His heart is beating way to fast in his chest. "Yeah Louis gave it to me. I don't have a clue. See you in five Harry. Breakfast ist always the best here!"

And than Niall is out of the room and Harry smiles fondly as he looks at the letter in his hand. He could really get used to this.

 

_So we're in America now, again.. I still remember the first time we've been here. Everything was so big and new and overwhelming. I didn't even know what to feel. And as we walked through the streets of new York for the first time I wished I could take your hand because I knew it would make me feel save. But I wasn't allowed to. I hope I am soon._

_So you remember our first concert here? The crowd was so big and there were screaming so loud and I never thought I could feel this scared and this happy at the same time. But I can still recall the word you whispered into my ear, because of course you we're right there beside me. You said that his was terrifiyng and beautiful all at once and you didn't know how this could be.. and that's when I first thought that maybe I was wrong all the time, that yeah maybe soulmates are existing. And that you're mine._

_Because the thing is if you had told me on my 18th birthday that I would meet my soulmate in the following year, I would have laughed and said that something like this isn't real. I would have said that there is not only one person for you, that you can be happy with a lot of people. But I was wrong._

_You are my person Harry Styles and I don't think that I could be happy with anyone else anymore._   
_Damon you changed my point of view Styles. But I'm glad you did. I didn't even like boy bands if you remember. Well technically I don't like them. Never will be actually, but I like this one boy who is in this one boy band. And I like being in this one boy band. Because that's where I found the love of my life. And that's here I found my believe in true love and faith and soulmates. I'm sure now that we would have met anyway, if it hadn't been for X-Facto. But I like the way we did._

_in love, deeply, Louis.  
_

_Ps: I'm so looking forward to our Christmas break. It's going to be just the two of us for a few days_

Harry is still smiling as he folds the letter, places it on his night shelf and makes his way down to the other boys.. _  
_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, I hope you're enjoying your December and whatever you have to do, work, school, unversity, exams, isn't taking over you :)  
> Christmas is all around us :)


	6. 12/6/2013

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Look at the stars, look how they shine for you.

Today Harry finds the note in his wallet as he pays for a coffee. He is out alone today, not because he wanted to but because management thought it was a good idea. He is a little bit angry but he saw this coming. It's always like that especially in America because there are so many paps and they're can't be considered as nice. But after yesterday with all the drama about Nick saying bad things about Louis again, he would really like to be by his boyfriend's side.  
"Everything okay?" Harry looks up in confusion when he realizes that he still hasn't payed his coffee. "Yeah of course, I'm sorry."  
The girl is really sweet and wishes him a nice day as he leaves. He gives her a weak smile because all he can think of is Louis. He really wants to open the letter right now but he forces himself to wait until he is on his own. As he finally arrives in his hotel room his hands are shaking as he opens the letter.

_Dear darling,_

_Sometimes I just want to get away from here, you know? Sometimes everything is too much, too hard. And when I lay in my bed after a day like yesterday I dream myself away. I dream of ocean waves and sandy beaches and cloudy hills. I dream of sunlight, freedom and silence. In my thoughts I fly to an lonely island somewhere in New Zealand, Australia or somehwere else far, far away, where I could hide myself from the rest of the world for a few days._  
 _But I never want to be there without you Harry._

  
_Wouldn't it be nice if we could run away, just the two of us. Just for a week, and only we would know. We would dive into the ocean and we would climb on the mountains together. And we would watch every sunrise and every sun. Together. And when the sky turned blue I would tell you that I love you and that I couldn't be happier. And then we'd look at the stars and we'd see them shining and I'd tell you they only shine for you. Every single on of them._  
 _I would kiss you all day long and we'd fall asleep on the beach hands intertwined, with a smile on our face. And when we we're back it would still be the morning of December 7th 2013 and no one would have noticed that we're gone._  
 _Wouldn't it be nice?_

  
_This thoughts help me not to go crazy. They help me to get trough the day without breaking down. This and you on my side, in my bed, curled up against me at night like a little kitten._  
 _Thanks for keeping me safe babe. I couldn't make it without you._

  
_Your dreaming Louis_

Harry feels the tears running down his face. He lays on his and Louis' bed and sobs into his pillows and he doesn't even care because, yeah it would be so nice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still no snow :(  
> But I enjoy writing this more everyday :)  
> Thanks a lot xxx


	7. 12/7/2013

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If I can make you happy than this is where I belong

They are lying in bed in their hotel room and Harry is a little bit disappointed because he hasn't got a letter today and it's almost midnight.

"What's wrong love?" Harry doesn't want to answer. Louis has forgotten his letter today, so what. It isn't that bad, he shouldn't be so upset about it. But he is.

"You know Harry, I thought you would ask where you letter is." Harry turns around to face to older boy. "What?"

"Your letter for today. Do you want it or not?" Louis smirks as Harry nods immediately. "Of course!". Louis hands him the letter and smiles encouragingly.

"Go on, I want you to read it while you're here with me!"

Harry does as Louis told him, but not before he cuddled closer against his boyfriend.

 

 

_Harry,_

_the winter has definitely begun now. It is cold and there will be snow very soon, at least in Europe._

_I like winter, you know. If you compare the season to the different times of the day you could say winter is like the night. And as much as I love sunrises and sunsets,_

_the moon has always fascinated me the most._

_And like the moon, the winter has its bright and its dark days. And the darker the night is the warmer seems the sunlight in the morning._

**_"While I relish our warm months, winter forms our character and brings out our best."_ **

_This is what I'm looking forward to this winter:_

_*snow_

_*hot chocolate_

_*to build snow angels_

_*the thousands of lights in London_

_*Christmas with you and our families_

_*New year's eve with you and the boys_

_*to cuddle with you after a cold day_

_*I'm even looking forward to my birthday a little bit_

_(mostly because you will be there)_

_*ice-skating!_

_*to kiss your cold nose_

_*late night walks in the park with you when the snow is falling_

_*to sing Christmas songs_

_I know that this winter is going to be good. Because you're are on my side babe._

_I listened to a song of Ron Pope today and I thought of you the whole time._

**_Well I just want a reason to hope_ **

**_A reason to know that I should till be here_ **

**_Maybe just a glimpse of the light, a patch of blue sky_ **

**_Something to believe in_ **

_You're my something Harry, my glimpse of light, my patch of blur sky, my sunlight after a dark night, my snow in winter, my shelter in the storm, my reason to hope._

_Because of you I know that I should still be here._

**_If I can make you happy, then this is where I belong._ **

_I love you, I love you so much_

_Your Louis_

 

_Ps: Tell me what you are looking for this winter :)_

 

 

Harry places a long kiss on Louis' soft, red lips.

"Being with you!"

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think I may be listening to Ron Pope too much :D  
> Love you all and hope you have a great weekend!  
> xxx


	8. 12/8/2013

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You bring out the best in me.

Louis gives Harry the letter as they are standing in line, waiting to enter the plane. He doesn't say anything about it, just puts it into Harry's hand and casually walks over to Liam and Nialll, who are speaking about some sports event Harry doesn't care about. He stares at the letter in his hand. The paper his bright blue and he recognizes it as the paper from the hotel they were staying in. He decides to read the letter when he is sitting in the plan, flying over the ocean.

_Harry, first of all, you were amazing yesterday on SNL. It was incredible, you smashed it, I am, again, so proud of you._

_And I wanted to thank you for being strong even if it is not easy sometimes. And thank you for smiling at me whenever we're out in public, even if we can't talk or kiss or hold hands. You're so beautiful when you smile.I haven't forgotten my promise. Next year I will hold your hand when we're performing on SNL again.  
_

_I guess I'm getting a little sensitive lately. It's just...you make me wanna say all this cheesy think I never thought I'd say to anyone. You make me wanna hold hands and call you babe or sweet cheeks or darling, and kiss you on the red carpet. You make me wanna say good night everyday not goodbye. You make me wanna live for you, though I always thought it is enough to keep yourself happy. But it's not, and you showed me. I can't be happy if you are sad. Or Liam, Zayn or Niall. We have become a family and I love you all so much and you changed me in so many good ways._

_**“Our lives are not our own. We are bound to others, past and present, and by each crime and every kindness, we birth our future.”** _

_I know that now Harry. I am bound to you and the boys and at first it freaked me out but I learned to see the good things in being so close to you and the others. You know I'm wearing my heart on the sleeve Harry because you bring out the best of me._

_But also the worst, damn Styles, when did I get so cheesy, next letter is definitely going to be more sassy, where is The Tommo? He would never say stuff like this. But your smile, damn charmer, good job, good job._

_Your Louis "THE TOMMO" Tomlinson._

_PS: Just kidding. I love you, and the Tommo loves you too._

_PPS: Just realized that Christmas is like just 2 weeks and a few days away. I'm soo excited._

Harry turns his head to the left, where Louis is sitting and playing cards with Zayn. As his green eyes meet the blue ones of his boyfriend he smiles brightly, before he let himself sink back into the seat and closes his eyes. He leans his head against Liam's shoulder, who is sitting next to him. Yeah, they are a family. And Harry does love all of them so much. 

"Next year will be easier!" He says more to himself than to anyone in specific. But Liam must have heard it because strokes Harry's hand and cuddles closer against the younger boy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading everyday :)  
> Their performance yesterday was amazing and they sung Trough the Dark. I loved it!  
> I hope you are having a nice sunday:) xxx


	9. 12/9/2013

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We're just normal guys.

 

Today is a little bit quiet. They all need to relax from the time in New York. Harry is glad being back home in London. He wouldn't have survived another day with rumours about his relationship with Kendall. But now he is here in England and somehow he feels safer. Right now he is out grocery shopping because he promised Louis to cook for him today and Louis wrote a list of what they need. Harry doesn't complain, this is just what he needs. A normal, unspectacular day, who everyone else in this world could live. He knows this little shop, where they know him and the boys and where he is safe from any paps and too many fans. He just wants to have it normal today. As he opens the list he immediately notices that something is wrong. Well, it isn't really a list.

  
  


_Dear Harry,_

_I know you expected something else, but yeah I kind of tricked you, to get you out of the house. Because today we're changing rules okay?_  
I want to make you a nice dinner, with dessert and candles and everything. And yes, you are the better cook, but let me do something for you, okay?  
When you are reading this I will be busy preparing our meal (don't worry Liam is with me to make sure I don't burn our kitchen down.)

_And Zayn and Niall will pick you up in a few minutes and you'll go over to Niall's to watch a movie or stuff. And in 2 hours you can come over and everything will be ready for you.  
 I want you to have a relaxed normal day with your friends and your boyfriend. I don't want you to I worry about anything today. Because I know you are probably freaking out about the latest dating rumours with Kendall (Got I love management...not). But today is your day my love._

_After our movie the boys will come over if you want to and we can just talk and drink hot chocolate, we see them so rarely in our free time, I really started to miss them already. And I know it is the same with you babe._

__  
I could go on talking about what will happen tonight, but yeah, I guess you already know that. You have to thank me properly for this diner Mr. Stlyes. And a kiss won't do it.  
But before I lose myself in thinking about you, go on Harry. Have a nice afternoon with Zayn and Nialler and I'm going to see you in two hours. 

_I literally can't wait._

_With all my heart_

_Louis Tomlinson_

_PS: If the meal isn't tasty it is definitely Leeyum's fault._

  
  


_  
_"Can I help you, Mr. Styles?", Fred, the owner of the little shop, asks and brings Harry back to reality.  "No" Harry answers "Actually everything is just fine, thank you Fred." And then he leaves the shop, leaving Fred, who is a little confused maybe, behind. Outside the door he runs into Zayn and Niall and he pulls both of them in a big hug. "Whoa, Harry, what's going on?" Harry smiles brightly. "Just really love you guys."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am a little emotional because..., I don't really know why actually:D (maybe still because the sung Through the dark live, I mean why not. That's a hell of a reason, isn't it :D)
> 
> But to everyone who is reading this: I love you and I wish you the most beautiful Christmas time you can imagine :)xxx


	10. 12/10/2013

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When I look into your eyes it's like watching the night sky

Today Harry just wants to stay in bed all day. But as he finally wakes up he notices that Louis is already gone. Harry is disappointed for a moment until he sees the letter placed on his boyfriend's pillow. He sits up and opens the letter.

He's going to miss this when christmas is over. He has to tell Louis that he wants a letter everyday of the year.

 

_Dear Harry,_

_yesterday was perfect. I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did. We can make it my new story when the interviewer asks what the most romantic thing was we've ever done. Or maybe I can tell them about these letters. What to you think. The fans would be so excited._

  
_I talked a little bit to Liam yesterday, and he told me that they are totally behind us, when we decide to come out. Not that we would have expected it otherwise. But it was nice to hear it. Liam is such a good boy, he was really supportive the whole time. And hey the diner was okay, wasn't it? So there's really nothing to blame him for._

_So today I have some kind of a special thing for you._

_You know how people say, when you're in love you finally understand the meanings of love songs. I don know if this is true, but there are a few song that remind me of you and things we've done._

_So here is my special song for you:_

_When I look into your eyes_

_It's like watching the night sky_

_Or a beautiful sunrise_

_Well, there's so much they hold_

 

 

_And you hold me in your arms_

_And all that I can see Is my future in your hands_

_And all that I can feel Is how long ever after is_

_It's all that I can do_

_To be with you, just to be with you_

 

_I belong with you, you belong with me you're my sweetheart_

 

_And I will wait, I will wait for you_

_And I will wait, I will wait for you_

 

_But I've been looking at you for a long, long time_

_Just trying to break through, trying to make you mine_

_Everybody wants a flame, but they don't wanna get burnt_

_Well today is our turn_

 

_I don't wanna be someone who walks away so easily_

_I'm here to stay and make the difference that I can make_

 

_Well, I wanna be scared Don't wanna know why_

_Wanna feel good, don't have to be right_

_The world makes all kinds of rules for love_

_I say you gotta let it do what it does_

 

_Oh, kiss me beneath the milky twilight_

_Lead me out on the moonlit floor_

_Lift you open hand_

_Strike up the band, and make the fireflies dance_

_Silvermoon's sparkling,_

_So kiss me_

 

_Nights like this lead to_

_Love like ours_

_You light the spark in my bonfire heart_

_People like us, we don't need that much_

 

_Who cares if you're all I think about_

_I've searched the world and I know now_

_It ain't right if you ain't lost your mind_

 

_And I can't change even if I try, even if I wanted to_

 

_Love always, your Louis_

 

_Ps: do you know all the songs ? I bet you do. But do you know why they mean so much to me?_

 

Harry falls back into the pillows. Will he ever be able to stop smiling with such a lovely boyfriend? He reaches over to grab Louis' iPod from the night stand because he wants to listen to the songs. But for some weird reason( or maybe just because louis has getting fond of being cheesy lately) there is only one playlist on the iPod. It says A _lways in my hear_ t.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The songs in order of appearance: 
> 
> Jason Mraz - I won't give up  
> Matt Nathanson - Wedding Dress  
> The Lumineers - Ho Hey  
> Mumford and sons - I will wait  
> James Blunt - Bonfire heart  
> Hunter Hayes- I want crazy  
> Sixpence none the richer - Kiss me  
> Macklemore - Same love
> 
> Love you all, thanks for reading, I'm going to bed xxx


	11. 12/11/2013

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A soulmate is someone who you carry with you forever.

Today is their performance in Spain. Harry likes Spain, though he can't really explain why. He just enjoys being here. They have a apartment in their hotel, all the five of them together. That's the best thing and he's always happy to stay in apartments because he has the boys around him more often. They are the only reason why he feels save, home in a foreign country. 

Right now, they are all in the living room. Louis and Liam had played Fifa for a while but then they got tired. Harry is sitting on the couch, Louis' head placed on his lap, stroking his boyfriends hair. The oldest boy felt asleep a few minutes ago. Niall has rolled himself up in the love chair like an hour ago and Harry is pretty sure he is sleeping too. The other two boys are lying at the opposite side of the couch, fingers intertwined, Zayn's head resting on Liam's chest. They had whispered something to each other for a while but now it is quite despite of their breathing, so Harry figures that they have fallen asleep like the rest of his band.

As he realizes that he is the only one awake in the room, he gets his letter out of the pocket of his jeans, carefully, trying not to wake Louis. He had carried it with him since breakfast, but there had been no opportunity to read it. Until now.

 

_Dear Harry,_   
_may I love you? May I kiss you and hold you tight?_   
_Oh it would be a privilege to have my heart broken by you!!_

_Do you know why I love "I won't give up" by Jason Mraz so much? Firstly it has such beautiful lyrics. We both know them by heart._   
_But another thing is that I always think of you while listening to this song. Do you remember the winter break one year ago? We we're lying on your couch, cuddling while this song played. You asked me if I could picture a Christmas 10 years from now. I don't really remember what I answered, but it was probably something really stupid._

_But I can still recall what you said, and I think I ever will._

_You told me, that in ten years you want to be here with me. Like that day but better. Better, because we will be married and have one or two children running around the house and we will have Liam, Zayn and Niall over for diner and then we will visit our families and we don't have to worry about anything._

_That was the first time, when you talked about the future like that, about your future with me in it. And at first I thought it might scare me. Like wow, that is such a huge step, thinking about marriage and kids and oh my got I just turned 21, you're not even nineteen. What are we thinking??_

_But then I it came to me. I've always wanted kids, I've always wanted a family. And there is no doubt in saying that I've always wanted you Harry Styles. So why should I be afraid of thinking about our future.?_

_Because there's nothing I've ever wanted more in my entire life than a family, a home, a future with you, my love._   
_I wrote it in an earlier letter, you're my soulmate Harry!_

_"What’s a soulmate? "_

  
**“It’s a.. Well, it’s like a best friend, but more. It’s the one person in the world that knows you better than anyone else. It’s someone who makes you a better person, well, actually they don’t make you a better person… you do that yourself— because they inspire you. A soulmate is someone who you carry with you forever. It’s the one person who knew you, and accepted you, and believed in you before anyone else did or when no one else would. And no matter what happens.. you’ll always love them.”**

_You are mine. And I will never stop loving you baby cakes. Not ten years from now, not twenty years from now, not even one hundred years. Just never._

  
  


_Looking forward to the future_

_yours Louis_

  
  


_Ps: I'm also looking forward to the performance on The Voice Spain tonight. I kinda like it here._

  
  


Harry places a kiss on the sleeping boy's forehead. Me too Louis, he thinks. Me too.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading :) xx  
> I just realized that Louis will be turning 22 in less than two weeks. o.O   
> Someone help me please! :D xx


	12. 12/12/2013

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Because today, when I look into your eyes, my love for you only grows.

They have a really busy time schedule before Christmas. Now they are in Milan, Italy. It's okay though, because they got a apartment, again, and Harry is really happy about it. Sometimes it seems really strange how important the boys are to him and how close they are. He can barely go three days without seeing them and he knows that the others feel the same way. But then again, maybe it isn't strange at all. The five of them shared so much, not only their dream but also their fears.

"Harry, I asked if you want to have your letter." Louis brings him back from his thoughts They are lying on their King size bed and getting a little rest before the performance on the Italian X-Factor. Louis doesn't have to ask the question again.

_Dear Harry,_

_the story about the next song is also about marriage, weddings more specifically._  
 _Do you remember the nights we watched one tree hill together because I was totally addicted that time. I think we watched the sixth season and Lucas and Peytons wedding and at the end of the episode Matt Nathanson's song "Wedding dress" plays. And I love this song, it is so amazing. Even though I'm more a Naley fan than a Leyton one._

_I love the final of the third season, you know when Nathan and Haley get married again in front of their friends and family. It is so beautiful._  
 _I always picture us like them. Getting married on the beach when we're really young without anyone knowing besides your parents (of course your going to be Haley. Don't even try to discuss this with me. I'm Nathan, your Haley. End of the talk.)_  
 _And then after two years of being married we would say yes to each other again. A big ceremony outside with Zayn and Liam as our best men (dips on Liam though) and Niall would be the flower girl. That would be totally awesome. And I would pick Matt Nathanson's song "Wedding dress" for our first dance because it would show what I was feeling then, in your arms._  
 _And the boys would do some cheesy wedding speeches and we would dance and sing all night._  
 _The only thing is that we probably wouldn't pick London for our honey moon. But we'd find a place to be together, just you and me._

**_Last year, we sit on a beach and I told you how much I loved you. And how I would always, always protect you. That day nobody believed that this would work. But I don't think anybody understood the love I had for you. Because if they did, they would have never doubted us. So I wanted to marry you all over again in front of most of our world. Because today, when I look into your eyes, my love for you only grows. It's even stronger now. My love will never waver. And this I vow to you, today, and always and forever._ **

_Always and forever_  
 _Louis Tomlinson_

_Ps: What do you think of that babe? Does it sound okay to you ?_

"Yeah" Harry chuckles. "But only if I'm going to be Nathan."  
"Never in your wildest dreams." Louis answers before pulling the younger boy closer for a kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry, but there had to be some One Tree Hill reference. I totally love this show and so does Louis. You see there was no way not bringing OTH into this fic :)  
> Hope you're all good and enjoying the days till christmas xxx
> 
> ___________________________________________________  
> Diamond, where are you? I miss you :( Still here with me :)?


	13. 12/13/2013

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You are enough.

Their next stop is France, and Harry loves France, Paris in particular. He can't say why, he just does. Maybe that is why he is so happy these days. Or maybe because of Louis' permanent smile on his beautiful lips. Harry doesn't know where this is coming from. At the beginning of December everything was really difficult but the closer christmas gets the calmer everyone is. And Harry likes it.

He reads his letter as they are in the car with Louis next to him, his head resting on the younger boys shoulder.

 

_Dear darling,_

  
_Please excuse my writing, I can't stop my hands from shaking...because I'm so happy to be with you right now._   
_Yeah I know I'm a little bit bubbly and giggly today. But the last few days have been so bright and easy and I really want to have more of them. Do you agree ?_   
_At least you seemed pretty happy earlier._

_But still, my promise is not forgotten Harry. We'll come out together next year. We'll work it out, because yeah we are in this together, aren't we?_   
_And I'm not even afraid anymore. I was, I definitely was for a long time. And I shouldn't have been. I know that now._

_I also know how happy I am that you've waited. I appreciate that love, and I will always wait for you if you ever happen to need some time._

  
_Mumford and sons plays quite often in our house or_   
_our tour bus, nearly everywhere you are. But it's okay because I love this band almost as much as you do._   
_They have a lot of brilliant songs, but my favourite is and will probably ever be "I will wait."_   
_Not only because of the meaning, but also because you always sing it to me when I'm upset. And it works every time._   
_Do you remember this day in Australia when I fought with Liam? I don't even know about what we we're fighting anymore, probably something stupid and meaningless. But it was the first time yout held me in your arms and sang that song to me._   
_And since that day I'm in love with it. I am in love with you (but I was before, so it doesn't count really)_

_I have a question for you. It is something I'm thinking about a lot lately. Do your fear oblivion?_

_I mean, right now it is probably the last thing we have to care about, but maybe that will change some time?_   
_And after our death, is it really important that so many people knew us and what we did? And remember us? Or isn't it more important that the people who really knew us, loved us. carred for us remember?_

_Because yeah, it would be nice if our fans still listened to our songs and their children and grand-children too._

_But at the end of the day I want you to think of me. And that would be more than enough._

_Yours Louis_

_Ps: I love you :) Just needed to make this one clear._

"You are enough!" Harry whispers into his boyfriends hair.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The first half is over :( I really enjoy writing this.  
> Thanks everyone for reading :)
> 
> Hope you have a great weekend!xxx


	14. 12/14/2013

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> JE T'AIME HARRY STYLES.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really sorry for the shitty form, I'm going to change it tomorrow. But I wrote it on my phone today because I'm on my way to visit my best friend. She moved away to attend university this fall and it takes three hours with the train to get there.  
> I'm so excited to see her :)

Today ist their performance in France. But it is still early, so harry takes the time for a quick walk. Fresh air always helps him clearing his thoughts. 

And there are not many paps in France cause there is a strict photography policy and after so much time being in public it's a nice feeling to be able to walk through the streets like a normal person. Sure he meets some fans during is walk and takes a few pictures but that is okay because Harry loves the fans and he loves to see them happy. As he arrives at his and Louis' hotel room it's empty. They didn't

get a apartment this time but as long as he is allowed to share a room with his boyfriend it is okay. He notices the letter on the night stand which causes the young boy to smile. As soon as he can he gets out of his jacket and under the blankets because damn, it's  freezing outside. Curiously he opens today's note.

 

_Dear Harry,_

_je t'aime. Je t'adore..._

_Beautiful France. So many emotions so many memories. I love this country. Remember when we we're on top of the Eiffel tour and you told me you'll love me forever. I'll always think of this moment. Never forget._

_I have decided to tell you some of my new years resolutions though I guess you already know most of them. But here it goes:_

_*I'll write new songs because I want the next album to just feature us as writers. That would be so great._

_*I hope to see my sisters and my family more often than 2013 because I fucking miss them._

_*I'll beat Liam in FIFA for 15 times in a row. At least._

_*I'm going to make Niall to laugh on stage, so much that he can't sing._

_*I won't wake up without you a single day. I really just want you by my side. Every minute of every day next year. And all the following years._

_*I'll tell the world how much you mean to me honey. Really, we've waited way too long. Next is going to be our year. And I can't wait._

_*The last thing I'm doing this year and the first thing I'll be doing next year is kissing you baby. Because that's my favourite thing to do._

_You see I'm really looking forward to 2014. What about you love? I want you to tell me what are your new year's resolutions tonight._

_Je t'aime Harry Styles. You're my favourite person in the whole world!_

_Yours Louis_

_PS: Let's us watch the stars tonight okay? We haven't done this for a long time._

 

"Je t'aime aussi Louis Tomlinson." Harry whisperes thought his boyfriend can't here him. He will repeat it tonight. Not just once.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you like it :) only ten more days :)  
> I wish you a great Saturday, thanks for reading!x


	15. 12/15/2013

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We belong to the light, we belong to the thunder  
> We belong to the sound of the words we're both fallen under  
> Whatever we deny, or embrace for worse or for better  
> We belong, we belong, we belong together

So they are back in the UK for the X-Factor finals and Harry has to admit that he is a little bit nervous. Performing on the British X-Factor is always special to him, to all of them. This is where it all began. Their band, their career, their friendship. Everything.

And it is also the first time he met Louis, in the bathroom. Harry can still recall every word, every look, every feeling he felt this very special moment. Louis introducing himself as Lewis. Them shaking hands. Louis smile as he said his name. Him thinking how a good looking boy that was. Louis taking a photo with him. Him not really knowing what to do or say, not knowing why his heart was beating so fast. Louis calling him Harold as they said goodbye.

"Hazza?" A voice brings Harry back to reality. "Hazza, are you here with me?" Liam jokes as he closes the distance between him and the younger boy. Harry smiles. "I was just thinking." Liam comes even closer because Harry's words are not more than a whisper. They are in some of the dressing rooms while the other boys are getting ready with Lou and Caroline.

"About what?" Harry shrugs. "Just our time here on the X-Factor. How it all began." Liam cuddles himself up at Harry's lap. The green-eyed boy smiles.

Three years ago Liam wouldn't have done that. He had been really reserved and distant. Harry understands, now that he knows about his past with the bullying and all. It had took them all a few month to convince Liam that they weren't going anywhere with out without the band. Maybe it was Zayn who took Liam's fear of losing them. While Liam took Zayn's fear of failing. "It seems like yesterday, doesn't it?" Harry nods. It really does. But at the same time it feels like a infinity of time ago. "Between you and Louis everything is pretty good lately, huh?" Liam asks. "Yeah" Harry answers. "We've worked things out. Louis is being literally the best boyfriend ever."

Suddenly Liam sits up and frowns. "Shit, totally forgot this. Louis gave me a letter for you." He searches in his pockets and pulls out a blue piece of paper.

"Here!" He smiles. "I'm going to find Zayn." He is out of the door sooner than Harry can process it but not before placing a kiss on Harry's forehead. Harry smirks. He stills can't believe how they all have changed.

_Baby,_

_we are back in the UK, back on the British X-Factor. Pretty much feels like home to me. The time flies, isn't it. I can't believe 2013 is nearly over. I'm still processing our first tour and album.Who would have thought Harry? Who would have thought? Would you?_

_So many coincidences to make this happen, make us happen. What if you we're born just a few days later? What if Liam would have come to the live shows 2008. Or hadn't come back? What if Zayn would have stayed in bed the day of his audition. What if Katy Perry had said no? I can't and I won't imagine. But I'm sure we would have found each other. Not just you and me. All five of us._

_I can't live without this idiots Harry. Can you? Could you? I don't think so. I just doesn't feels right. We belong together you know. We belong together._

_You know the two moments I remember the clearest from our time here on X-Factor? The first moment is, of course, being put together as a band. It felt unreal, impossible. I never felt more nervous in my entire life. And then Simon's words. "We decided to put you both through..._

_" Wow it was...I think you aren't able to understand when you haven't been there. It was amazing. And suddenly I was in your arms and you we're holding me and I felt infinite in some way. It couldn't have been more than a few seconds but it felt like forever. The second moment was when we were at yours getting to know each other better. The rest of the boys had already gone to bed and it was just just the two of us. We were watching the night sky and "Kiss me" by sixpence none the richer was playing. I felt infinite again in this moment. I mean when didn't kiss. But it was not necessary. I think we both already knew that we belonged together but there was no point in rushing things. We had more than enough time. And we still have._

_I love you baby cakes, I loved you from the first moment I looked into those emerald eyes at the X-Factor bathroom. And I will love you forever._

_Sincerely yours Louis_.

 

Harry doesn't know why there are tears in the corner of his eyes. He should be happy, so happy and yeah he really is. He has to find Louis. Now. And kiss him to show him everything he isn't able to say.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wish you all a nice last week before christmas :)   
> Hope you are good, wherever you are xxx


	16. 12/16/2013

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Well sometimes you can't change and you can't choose  
> And sometimes it seems you gain less than you lose  
> Now we've got holes in our hearts, yeah we've got holes in our lives  
> Well we've got holes, we've got holes but we carry on

 

"Harry, damn you look so hot tonight. Even hotter than usual. So beautiful." Harry feels his boyfriends cold breaths against his skin and shivers. It's late in night or early in the morning, he isn't sure as which 4 am counts.  
"Honey I'm really tired, let's go to sleep, please?" Louis shakes his head no. "Can't sleep. To horny". The older boy licks Harry's neck and nibbles on his left ear. "Lou please." He begs but his boyfriend has no mercy. "You have worn an earring. A fucking earring, what were you expecting Harry Styles?"

And with this words he kisses him hard, brings him closers and rubs their bodies together. The smaller boy moans into Harry's mouth and suddenly he isn't so tired any more. Maybe he's not tired at all. "Fuck Louis, shirt..."

As Harry wakes up it is bright outside and he finds Louis curled up next to him. He smiles by the memories of the last night and places a kiss on Louis forehead before he stands up. But halfway out of bed he notices something in his boyfriend's tiny right hand. A letter.  
Harry hesitates. He is not sure if he is allowed to read it yet, perhaps it isn't finished...But his curiosity wins

  
  


_Baby,_

_I can't sleep. First because you look so fucking sweet when you are asleep and I can't stop looking at you.  
And second because I thought about a few things and now I'm sad. I don't want to wake you. but I feel like I'm going to cry if I don't get this out of my mind. So I'm writing you this letter._

_I'm done with this shit, I'm so done Harry. I said it before and I'll say it again. I want to kiss you, every time, everywhere I want to. I don't want to hold back what I'm feeling, I want to shout it out in the wind. Damn, and I don't want management to fucking separate us every single time. One more "We can't sit together" and I swear you I'm gonna lose it.  
And I don't want one more dating december next year. This is fucking bullshit. This is..._

_I want you Harry, you, all of you, and everything that comes with it. And I don't want it tomorrow, or next year, or eventually, I want it now!_

_I mean it, really. All these interviews asking how it is to be ina relationship with El, and being separated so much and stuff. It's bullshit. All the articles calling you a man whore or something I mean, seriously? Are they blind? They have to be._

_  
I'm done Harry, done with management, done with hiding, with lying, done with Liam asking me if this ever, EVER gets better, while he can't stop the tears streaming down his face, I'm done with not being yours, not being able to say that this beautiful boy Harry Styles is for real my boyfriend, has been for almost three years now, done with Zayn breaking down in my living room, because he got fucking engaged, like what?, I'm done with not holding your hand because it need it, I need to be close, dammit, I'm done with this bullshit, done with everything, with how we're affecting Niall with all of this, pour, innocent Irish boy, and our mums or sisters, it's not fair Harry, not at all, not fair..._

  
  


_I'm sorry love, I lost it, I'm just..._

_You're so beautiful and I love you and I can't sleep. Not sure if I'll give you this letter tomorrow. I think I'm just trying to sleep now. Curling up as close as possible._  
  
  


_Passenger's "Holes" is playing on my Ipod Harry._

_Well sometimes you can't change and you can't choose_  
And sometimes it seems you gain less than you lose  
Now we've got holes in our hearts, yeah we've got holes in our lives  
Well we've got holes, we've got holes but we carry on

_I'll carry on Harry, we'll carry on, and I'm going to fight for it. For you Harry. For Zayn and Liam. For Niall. For our mums. And for me. Because I need you, and I'm not going to leave you. Ever._

 

_I love you, I'm sorry if I break sometimes. I love you._

 

_With all my heart, Louis_

 

_  
_Harry cannot _not_ see the traces of Louis' tears on the paper and he cannot  _not_ feel his own tears on his cheeks. It is not fair, it's...

"Harry?" The younger boy turns around to find his boyfriend awake, looking at him with his bright blue eyes. "I'm sorry Lou, I read your letter, I'm sorry, I..." He isn't able to continue speaking and then Louis' arms are around him and he whispers sweet things into his ear, rubbing his back in circles. "Shh, baby cake, it's okay, we make it, together. Don't have to be sorry, everything is fine, we'll work it out.” The older boy places kisses in Harry's hair, letting him cry his heart out on his shoulder. “Shh, it's going to be okay honey. You make me strong, remember?" 

That makes Harry sob even harder, but it's okay, because yeah, Louis is right, they will make it. And more importantly he is with him. And that is all that counts for Harry right now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this is really sad, I don't know how it happens. Just listened to passenger all day and...yeah I'm sorry.  
> Also I can't write smut, really bad at it, so I cut it off. Sorry...but Harry though. His earring. 
> 
> I'm sorry, this chapter is a mess, I hope you are all having a amazing day :) xxx


	17. 12/17/2013

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You're everything I've ever wanted and anything I'll ever need.

Harry notices that Louis is a lot happier than yesterday, which is a good thing, totally, but he also notices that he is not. He always admires Louis for getting over things that fast, for not worrying weeks later about something he said or he did.  
Harry himself isn't such a person. When he is sad, he is sad and he can't stop thinking about the things that make him feels this way, which, eventually, makes everything just worse.

Everyone tells him that he thinks too much, cares too much and that it is going to break him some day sooner or later. But what should he do? It is just him. Not that he hasn't tried. He has, all the time. He is just not good at it.

Louis is though. Or he is just really good at hiding. After almost three years Harry still can't tell. Sometimes he thinks that Louis has gotten completely over a topic until he wakes him at 3 am two weeks later, crying his heart out. And then there are other times when he has totally forgotten what he was angry about three hours ago.

When Louis is angry he doesn't show it as much. He says what he feels yeah, right into your face. But he always make sure he controls himself. Harry can't, but that's him and everybody has their own way with dealing with emotions, right?

Like Zayn is becoming all quite, separating himself from everyone and everything and Liam is the only person who can bring him back from that state. Or Niall, who usually isn't angry at all but when he is he expresses himself. He gets all loud for a few minutes and that's okay, because after that he shuts up. He just doesn't say something for a whole day and that so, so much worse, because it's Niall, always happy, carefree, smiling Niall. Liam just drowns his sorrows in more workout, not letting anyone see he's hurt. Because somehow he still thinks he has to be strong for all of them, because he is Daddy Direction. But sometimes when it is too much, he is the one seeking a shoulder to cry on and the boys are too happy to let him lean on them because he has done so much. So other whiles it just needs all four of them cuddling him to make his pain go away. And then there is Harry, who can't hide his feelings even if he tries. He fails every time and today is no exception.

So it was bound to happen that he ends up crying in Zayn's arms eventually. And Zayn is just there for him, rubbing his back gently, placing kisses on his forehead. Zayn knows how the younger boy feels, he knows the way his heart aches and the tears won't stop falling so he just holds him as long as it is needed. After a few minutes or maybe some hours. ho can he be sure, they get interrupted by a soft knock on the door.

"Can I come in?" Harry and Zayn both look up by their friend's carrying voice. "Yeah, come in!" Zayn's voices cracks, even thought he isn't the one crying. Liam smiles softly at the sight of the two boys, still cuddled up together.

"Lou wants to see you. I guess he is a little worried." Harry nods because yeah, Louis always cares. He stands up, giving Zayn a last, long thank you hug as he isn't able to speak yet. Liam hugs him too and smiles encouragingly at him as he leaves the door. They are good boys, Harry thinks. He wouldn't be anywhere without them.

As he comes in his and Louis' room, the older boy stands up immediately, putting his arm's around the taller boys neck. He leans his forehead against Harry's and brings their lips together slowly. He has to stand on his tiptoes while kissing Harry and if he wasn't so sad the younger boy would have thought how sweet it is.

"Stops crying babe." Harry swallows. He makes it sound so easy. "Want to read your letter, darling?" He nods and lets Louis' lead him to their bed. He unfolds the paper, leaning back at the pillows he bought last week, while Louis curls himself up at his chest.

_Sweety,_

_I know I could have just said it all, but I really got into that writing thing and like this I know I won't forget anything._

_Before you wonder, yes I am still sad and yes I am still angry too and that will not changed until I'm able to hold your hand in public and tell the world that beautiful Mr. Styles here is my boyfriend._

_But I'm not planing to cry about it either. I'm gonna do something. Because it is worth it. You are worth it._

_And I want to make sure that you know I'm not regretting any single decision I made in my life because it brought me here to you. And when I had the chance I would do all of it again. Even the bad things, the late night fights, the tears, the times I've been afraid. It all matters._

_It is okay to be sad sometimes babe, but for know I want to look up and see what ahead of us. Next year belongs to us Harry Styles, we can form our future however we want it to be. I am on your side, always, and I'm going to catch you when you fall. I know you would do the same for me. I know you will to the same for me. And therefore love you. We will fall but we will stand up again walk straight on, hand in hand. Towards our future._

_So smile for me Harry, because you're much prettier when you smile. Not that there's a possibility for you not to be beautiful in any situation. But yeah...you know what I mean._

_I'm i love with you, Harry Edward Styles. You're everything I've ever wanted and anything I'll ever need._

_Louis_

_PS: Now kiss me you fool._

And Harry does. It is a little wet from his tears, a little bit rushed because he needs, so so needs Louis right now. But he is sure that's what forever feels like.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry, this is sad - again. But I just felt like I couldn't go on like nothing ever happened so, yeah :)  
> Tomorrow is going to be bright and happy and so fluffly (I hope :))
> 
> Love you all!xx
> 
> (One more week and I don't know if I should be happy or sad :D)


	18. 12/18/2013

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You are the sunshine of my life.

 

Harry is counting the days till christmas eve and, of course, also his boyfriend's birthday. But most importantly he's counting the days till they finally have their christmas break. It's not much, not even two weeks but Harry is longing for it so badly. Like he literally can't wait just to stay in bed all day and eat and see his family.

This is all he wishes for.

Today he's out with Niall for christmas shopping, because the Irish boy always has the best ideas. And he just likes to hang out with him, Niall is always good when it comes to distracting.

They had found something to get for Zayn and Liam and Harry had gotten a wonderful necklaces for his sister. But still nothing for Louis. It has to be special this year. In fact he wants it to be even more than special.

After shopping they went to grab some pizza and talked for a while.

Now Harry is sitting at the Thames River all by himself and unfolds Louis' letter. The older boy handed it over t him earlier that day when they we're kissing goodbye.

 

_My dearest Harry,_

 

_First of all I'm not going to talk about me turning 22 in LESS THAN A WEEK. AHHH._

_Just please tell me how I'm not going to freak out over this. 22...this is apparently so, so bad._

 

_You know, sometimes when I walk trough crowds of people, when I see our fans I think about how they all have their stories and they all have their lives. And that they might have all the same problems and insecurities, but they also laugh at the same jokes and cry over the same books._

_I sometimes think of all these people as stars, because you might know the names of some of them but you don't really like know them. You just watch them from afar and wonder why some of them shine brighter than others._

_And the boys, my friends and my family are the moon. I couldn't live without them. Because they shine my way when I'm in the dark and there are there for me, sometimes more than other times, but always close._

_And you Harry Styles, you are my sun because you make every morning and every evening more beautiful. And you're always there to light up my day and warm my heart._

_You give me the strength to stand up every morning and you make me smile when I go to sleep. You give me soo, soo much. And I'm not the only one._

_You're such a wonderful person babe, you always care for people you don't even know, you help your friends when they're down and you try to make everyone happy even when you're sad yourself. Every time I think that I shouldn't care any more, because no one does in this grey world, that the people just live for themselves without even bothering if they hurt others , I see your smile. And I know I'm wrong._

_There are people carrying and loving each other. There is you. And you make me want to be a better person, the best I can be. You helped me figure out who I want to be and know you're helping me to be this person._

 

_You're always there when the boys need you and you look after Gemma all the time and you don't hesitate to jump right in when a fan needs help._

 

_But I think you don't see and that's awful. The media just make up their stories about you being with several girls just for fun and everyone's talking how you want to go solo or how you're separating yourself and it's not fair. I want them to see how the real Harry, is the one I know. And love._

 

_And then I want to make you see how good you are, how important to everyone around you. You don't have to be all nice and helpful and polite even if the paps are fucking up. You don't have to keep smiling at the fans after 18 hours of being up and try to get picture with everyone of them. You don't have to shake everybody's hand and thank everyone for having you._

_But you do and that's why I love you so much._

_Because you're the best person I've ever met in my entire life._

 

_Don't forget how important you are to all of us. I love you Harry Styles._

  _Yours only Louis Tomlinson._

 

_PS: I forgot something. You look so adorable when you sleep. I could watch you all night, every night from now until forever._

 

No he is definitely not crying, or maybe?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh I LOVED writing this :)
> 
> And I've got a question, in the UK do you open your calendar 24 times or 25? Does anyone know?  
> Thanks a lot xx


	19. 12/19/2013

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Imagine a future moment in your life where all your dreams come true. You know, it's the greatest moment of your life and you get to experience it with one person. Who's standing next to you?

Today they're in America. One last performance before their christmas break. Harry so, so needs it.

And he still doesn't know what to buy Louis for is birthday. It's only a few days and he's sure he'll gonna freak out soon enough.

"Hazza, is anything wrong?" The younger boy turns around. He didn't hear Liam coming.

"Just don't have a present for Louis yet and his birthday is getting closer." Liam sighs. "Yeah that's hard, I know!" He lets himself sink back into the sofa beside Harry.

"I just want to get him something special this year, something that shows how much I love him but also that we are strong and that we'll make it. But most importantly that I'm not going to run away." Liam closes his eyes for a minute and cuddles himself closer to the younger boy's chest. "What about a ring?"

Harry frowns and looks at his friend in shock. "Li, I don't think it is the right time, I...I mean everything is so difficult right now...and I...just don't think he's ready and..." Liam chuckles.

"Calm down, Hazza, I don't meant an engagement ring." He pulls the still shocked boy into a hug. "I thought about a promise ring, you know. He could wear him on a necklace if he wants to. And you could carve something into it, maybe your date? Or some quote or your names or something. It would show that you plan on staying, that you are not going to leave him."

Harry pulls out of Liam's strong arms. "Li...that's beautiful. Where did that come from?" Liam giggles.

"Yeah I guess I'm quite romantic, don't you think?" The younger boy smiles and places a wet kiss on Liam's cheek. "You're brilliant, Li. Thank you!" The older boy laughs and pulls Harry into a hug. "I have to go now, Lou's waiting and I think you should go see Caroline. We have our performance in an hour or so. But first you should read Louis' letter!" He gives a folded paper to Harry, hugs him one last time and is out of the room.

Harry smiles fondly to himself and opens the letter.

 

_Harry baby, do you realize that we have christmas break in a few days. Finally!!!_

_So you know what that means sweet cheeks? Do you know???_

_Yeah that means me and you cuddling all day long and eating chocolate fondue and drinking wine. Ohh this is just the most perfect thing to do, don't you think honey?_

_We need to do this more often, I want just one day in the month, where we don't get out of bed. Can we does this?_

 

_I talked to my mum on the phone earlier to tell her how we are planing our christmas days and you know what she said? We're going to spend the 25th and 26th with your and my family together. Isn't that great? That means less travelling around and more time with all of them. This is going to be soo great._

_But on the 24th I just want to have brunch with the boys and then spend the day with you okay? Just want it quite for the rest of the year. Is that okay with you?_

 

_Oh and I want to go ice-skating, Harry I love ice-skating, I want to do so things while we have time for it, so much. And I want it all with you._

 

_You know, there is quote from One Tree Hill:_

 

_**Imagine a future moment in your life where all your dreams come true. You know, it's the greatest moment of your life and you get to experience it with one person. Who's standing next to you?** _

 

 

_I want you next to me Harry, and I knew it since day one. When we were in Barbados and Simon told us that we made it through the life shows all I wanted was to hug you. And when we were on the big stage for the first time and sang “Viva la vida” I just wanted to hold you're hand. When we made it to the final I wanted to kiss you so bad. And our first album was released the first thing I did was holding you tight telling you what a great man you are and how much I love you. Remember?_

_This were so important moments in my side and you were standing next to me.  
I am such a lucky man, because I have you with me all this time. When my dreams come true you are always right beside me. Even better, you're living them with me. They are your dreams too, and that is just the best thing in the world to me. _

 

_But the greatest moment in my life will not be releasing an album or winning an award or such thing. It will be when I become your husband Harry Styles._

 

_So enough of me being cheesy! I love you baby cakes. Get ready!_

 Yours Louis

 

_Ps: You look stunning today._

 

Harry grins, places the letter in the pockets of his skinny jeans and makes his way to the dressing room. It's going to be a beautiful christmas break, he can feel it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Harry's excited about christmas break, Louis excited about christmas break, I'm excited about christmas break.  
> Everyone is really :)  
> Love you, thanks for reading x


	20. 12/20/2013

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It is what it is, says love.

The boys are on the plane home to England. Finally. Yesterdays was fun yeah, but Harry wants to go home so bad. And now he finally can. He is so happy, he can't stop smiling.

 

He looks around the plane. Louis, Niall and Paul are busy with a game of cards. Liam and Zayn are sleeping peacefully, hands intertwined. Lou is reading a book to Lux.

Harry smiles to himself. He loves the boys and the crew. He couldn't imagine a life without all of them any more.

He leans himself back in the seat and finally opens the letter, Louis gave him in the morning

 

 

_Dear Harry,_

 

 

_It's nonsense, says reason,_

_It is what it is, says love._

_It's a disaster, says logic,_

_It's nothing but pain, says fear._

_It's hopeless, says common sense._

_It is what it is, says love._

_It's ridiculous, says pride._

_It's foolhardy, says prudence._

_It's impossible, says experience._

_It is what it is, says love_

 

_It's nonsense, you are a boy you can't have a boyfriend, says management._

_It is what it is, I say._

_It's a disaster, what will your fans think, says management,_

_It's nothing but pain, we don't want you to get hurt, my friends say._

_It's hopeless, you'll never be allowed to be with him, they say._

_It is what it is, I say._

_It's ridiculous, two boys in love, says the media._

_It's foolhardy, your affecting the whole band with this, says management._

_It's impossible, he said it is bullshit, the fans say._

_It is what it is and I love Harry Styles, if you like it or not. I'm in love with him, I say._

 

 

_Baby, I couldn't sleep last night (but not in a bad way I was just over excited because of christmas and all that stuff) and I got a little poetic. Hope you like it!_

 

 

_They've got nothing on us Harry, and it is what it is. Nothing and no one is going to change this!_

_I'm looking forward to 2014, I think I've told you before._

_Do you think it is going to be great? I do._

_A stadium tour, a WORLD tour, babe, that is so amazing, don't you think?_

_But that's not just it. It is so much more Harry, it is about you and me._

_2014 is going to be our year, and I can't wait. I can't._

_I want to kiss you on stage, especially after your performance on midnight memories yesterday._

_(Really honey, what was that? Were you trying to kill me or what?)_

_And I'm going to kiss you! Be prepared Harry Styles._

 

_I think, I should try to get a little sleep now. I love you honey!_

_The christmas days are going to be awesome (when we just forget about the fact, that I'm turning 22. No, not going there.)_

 

_England, we are coming home._

 

_Always and forever,_

_Louis Tomlinson_

 

Harry gets up from his seat and walks over to his boyfriend. He grabs his face and kisses him hard. Then he pulls away, a cheeky smile on his lips. “You better be prepared too, Louis Tomlinson!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I just thought of Louis' beautiful tattoo and this is what happened :)  
> Hope you liked it, and I also hope you're are having a good time, wherever you are and whatever you do.  
> It's nearly christmas :) xxx


	21. 21/12/2013

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And I choose you; in a hundred lifetimes, in a hundred worlds,  
> in any version of reality, I'd find you and I'd choose you.

Harry sleeps in today. They have a meeting with the management later in the day but nothing big.

As he wakes up at 11 am he finds the other half of the bed empty.

He stands up and walks into a giant kitchen to find a chocolate chip muffins a note and a letter.

He reads the note first.

 

_Baby cakes, I hope you slept well!_

_I'm out with Li for some christmas shopping. I have brought you a chocolate chip muffin because I know they are your favourite. I'll be back at 1 or 2 pm, I guess. Just try to relax a little._

_I love you, Louis._

 

Harry smiles and grabs the muffin. Louis is beyond doubt the best boyfriend in the whole world.

He puts the Michael Bublé Christmas Album into the stereo before he lays down on the big couch and opens the letter.

 

 

_Good Morning, my love!_

 

_You asked my tonight, if, without the X-Factor, we'd still be together right now._

_I think about this a lot too. And it isn't that we haven’t talked about it before._

_And I've always told you they we'd still be together, no matter what._

 

_But lately I've been thinking that, when you're young, one moment can change your life. It doesn't need that much. If one of us had make just a single different decision, everything could be different right now._

_Maybe we hadn't met yet. Maybe we would already be married. Maybe we'd never evem meet._

_I don't know._

 

_The only thing I know for sure is that I can't live without you._

_And that something was missing before I've known you._

_I kind of always knew. It always felt like I wasn't complete. But I thought that it just was a thing of being a teenager. I guess I was wrong._

_Do you know that feeling when all of the love songs in the radio suddenly make sense?_

_And that you can't stop smiling even if you know it looks dumb?_

_I felt that all with you. I couldn't sleep at night because I made up all the scenarios in my head, I wished would happen._

_I don't think, I can ever have this feelings for another person. Actually I know I can't._

_And I also know that I wouldn't felt this if I hadn't met you._

_I don't believe in fate...But I don't think that there is any way, any life, any world where we hadn't met either. It's always you Harry Styles. No matter what._

 

_**And I choose you;** _

_**in a hundred lifetimes,** _

_**in a hundred worlds,** _

_**in any version of reality,** _

_**I'd find you and I'd choose you.** _

 

_Yeah I would have searched for you, because without you, I'm missing half of me._

_I'm not complete._

 

_I remember one moment in the X-Factor house. It must have been before the third live show. You were asleep at the couch and you looked so beautiful. All I've wanted was to lie next to you. I wanted to wrap my arms around you and sleep. Just sleep. Not to fuck you, not to have sex with you or anything._

_I just wanted to fall asleep beside you, feeling your heart beating against my skin, hearing nothing but the sound of your breathing. I wanted to sleep with you in the most innocent sense of the phrase._

_But as much as I wanted that, I also was afraid. Not of being with you actually. Just of the strength of my feelings. I never felt like this before._

_I was scared so I walked away, and collapsed in my own bed, crying my self to sleep. alone._

_I never told you before, because I felt weak, I felt so weak in that moment._

_But with the time I realized that every time you touched me, smiled at me or pulled me into a hug, I felt a little stronger._

_So it couldn't be bad, could it? It was worth a shot._

_And now we're here and I get to fall asleep beside you, with your heart beating against my skin._

_I can't think of it any other way. It feels like I always lived for this feeling._

 

_I love you Harry._

 

 

_Yours, in any version of reality you can imagine, Louis_

 

 

_PS: What do you think of a video night?_

 

 

Harry doesn't know if he should cry or smile. These letters are so beautiful and the fact that Louis makes them for him, that he takes the time to write him every single day is just overwhelming. Especially because normally Harry is the romantic one in their relationship, the one who prepares candle light diners or gets sweet little presents for Louis.

But this letters are so amazing that Harry cannot think of something more romantic or more perfect.

And he loves Louis a little more every day, for every letter. If that's even possible.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Romantic!Louis is my new favourite thing in the world :)  
> I wish you all a great weekend :)  
> Thanks so much for reading, can't stop saying it :) xxx


	22. 12/22/2013

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm dreaming of a white christmas.

 

Harry comes home from a walk in the park and finds a note pinned on the front door. He knows that Louis planned to visit Zayn today.

Before he sits down of the couch, he makes himself a cup of tee and turns on some christmas music. Then he starts reading.

 

_Dear Harry,_

 

_this year is so strange, I can't explain it._

_It is only two days, TWO FUCKING DAYS, till christmas and I still don't feel it._

_I mean, yes I'm looking forward to the holidays, I really do, but I don't feel very christmas-ish. (Is that even a word?)_

 

_You know, we're attending all these christmas parties, but there is just so much more going on around at the moment. Not that it was really different the last two years. But it seems like it is getting worse every year._

_I guess I just miss the feeling of getting into it a little more every day. Decorating the house with my sisters over the course of the month, the smell of christmas biscuits all over the place and all the songs my mum used to play._

_Now we are running from one event to another, sleeping in unfamiliar hotel rooms and it sucks._

_We don't even have a christmas tree or anything, because we are barely at home._

_How am I supposed to get the spirit like this babe? Tell me._

 

_I know that we are going to see our families and I'm really excited about it. But it doesn't feel like it is supposed to._

_You know that feeling when you were younger and you felt that prickling in your stomach around the holidays. Everything felt so special and adventurous. And there were so many lights and our parents had secrets and just smiled at us when we were trying to find out what our presents would be._

_My mum used to make me and my sisters hot chocolate with marshmallows every Sunday._

_We sang christmas song and lighted the candles on our advents wreath._

_It was always my favourite time of the year._

_But now it just doesn't feel special any more. And I'm turning 22 which is so fucking old, I don't want this._

 

_I'm sorry this letter was a little whiny. Tomorrow is going to be better._

_What about you tell me about your favourite things to on christmas?_

 

_I love you Harry Styles,_

_you stop me from freaking out, when we have busy time schedules and flying from country to country._

_I know we are going to have perfect holidays!_

 

_Yours, Louis_

 

_Ps: And it is so fucking hot outside. What happened to a white christmas?_

 

As soon as he finishes, Harry puts the letter down and grabs his phone. He texts Zayn to ask him if he could keep Louis busy for a little longer.

Then he calls Liam. He doesn't even bother to say hello.

“Li, I need a christmas tree, now. And a advents wreath would be awesome too. Do you think you can do this in less than an hour?” There is no response on the other side of the phone because the older boy is a little shocked. But Harry knows he can do it.

“Thanks Li, you're the best. See you in an hour.” And with that the line is dead-

The next person he calls is Niall. “Nialler, you have christmas decoration, don't you?” The irish boys is as confused as his bandmate a minute before. “Yeah, I do, why Harry..?” He has no chance to finish his sentence, because Harry interrupts him. “Can you just bring it over and help me decorating? Like, now!” The younger boy doesn't let his friend answer the question. He is already calling Louis' mum to ask for the special receipt for her hot chocolate.

He wants to do something for Louis this time. He feels like his boyfriend has done so much and now it is his turn. It hurts him that Louis can't enjoy his favourite time of the year and he would do anything to see him smile.

He hurries to make some of Louis favourite biscuits and he has just put them into the oven as the door bell rings. He opens to find Niall with bags full of christmas balls, candles and lametta.

 

By the time Liam brings the christmas tree and the advents wreath the other two boys have already finished with the decorating, so Harry writes Zayn, to bring Louis over.

He finishes the biscuits and places five steaming cups of hot chocolate on the table in the living room. Everything is perfect.

 

Harry opens the door with the biggest smile on his face.   
“Louis, there you are. Close your eyes, I've got a surprise for you.” He takes his boyfriends hand and pulls him into the living room. Zayn follows the couple and stops beside the two other boys, taking Liam's hand.

 

“You can open them now!” Louis look is priceless. He opens his mouth, but he doesn't find words to say. The whole room is lightened up with candles and chains of light. Everything is decorated nicely and it smells like biscuits and hot chocolate and fir needles. In the background “White Christams” is playing quietly.

 

Louis has tears in the corner of his eyes as he kisses Harry. “Do you think that could help you get the spirit?” Louis smiles. “Definitely yes!” The oldest boy tells the others to come over and they all join in a big group hug. “This is exactly what I needed.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry, the letter was quiet short but I just felt like it was Harry's time to show how much he loves Louis and that he would do anything for him. Hope you liked it!
> 
> Happy Holidays to all of you :) xxx


	23. 12/23/2013

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dreams are forever.

Tomorrow is Louis' birthday, like TOMORROW, like in less than 24 hours and Harry is finally freaking out.

"Liam, it has to be perfect, please. I need to find the perfect ring.”

They are out for shopping and it's fucking frustrating. Harry has to find a small shop, who can engrave a ring until tomorrow. He can't just go into a big shopping centre or something, because someone would definitely see him and he don't want to cause any more rumours by buying a ring.

“I just texted Zayn and he said there is this tiny little shop just around the corner. Let's go there.” Liam grabs Harry's hand and pulls the younger boy with him before a bunch of girls at the other side on the street can spot them.

“Why does Zayn know where to find the best rings in London? Maybe someone else gets a ring for christmas.” Liam shrugs and blushes. “No, he just wanted to be nice and helpful. We're here.”

He opens the door to a really cute and tiny store. An old man is standing behind the counter and smiles as the boys come in. “Hello, searching for some jewellery for your girlfriends?” Harry and Li exchange a look. “Boyfriends.” The old man doesn't stop smiling. “What did you say young man?” “Boyfriend. I'm searching something for my boyfriend.” Harry expects the man to kick them out immediately, but he couldn't stop himself from saying it. He has a boyfriend and it feels kind of good to say it out loud.

But instead the old man just smiles even brighter. “That's beautiful. Just a few days ago another boy was here to buy a present for his boyfriend. A great guy. What do you want?”

The two boys look at each other. They hadn't expected that but, well, it feels great.

Harry tells the man what he is looking for. He introduces himself as Tom and helps the boys to choose a ring.

 

As they get out of the shop, the silver ring in Harry's pocket, engraved with their initials and 2010, Liam starts laughing really hard. He leans on the other boy, holding his stomach with both hands. “Boyfriend” he repeats between the laughters. “I'm searching something for my boyfriend.” He looks up.

“Damn Hazza that could have gone so wrong.” Harry can't help but join the other boy's laughing. Yeah it could have gone wrong, but it hasn't. Everything worked out well and he finally has the perfect ring for Louis.   
Harry pulls his arms around the other boy, who is still laughing and pulls him close. He holds him tight and buries his face in his neck. “Thanks Li!” He whispers.

 

As soon as Harry opens the door, Louis calls for him. “Babe, come into the living room, yeah?”

Harry gets rid of his shoes and his jacket immediately. He finds Louis lying on their giant couch, eating ginger bread. He smiles as he sees Harry.

“Come here, I want to cuddle.” He doesn't have to say it twice, the next second Harry holds him in his strong arms. “Missed you.” The younger boy laughs. “I was away for like two hours or something.” Harry slides his frozen hands underneath his boyfriend's shirt. “Still. Have you got a present for me babe?” Harry smirks. “Don't know. Have you got a letter for me?”

“Of course, honey!” Louis reaches over the table to get the letter he wrote earlier and gives it to Harry, before he cuddles closer on his boyfriend's chest.

“You can read it now, I'm tired anyway. Just rub my back, yeah?” He closes his eyes and a soft smile appears an his lips. “Everything for you, Louis!”

 

  
_Harry, darling,_

_tomorrow is already Christmas eve and also my birthday. How fast time flies._

_I wanted to thank you so much for yesterday. It was perfect and just what I needed._

_My christmas spirit is up to over 100 percent now thanks to you and the boys._

 

_And I thought that maybe, being 22 is not all that bad. At the end it is just a number and it doesn't matter. I'm as young as I feel, and I can tell you that is very young._

 

_You know, I always tell you that I don't want to grow up, to become an adult. I always wanted to be like Peter Pan and always stay a child. I didn't want to have to do the stuff our parents do._

 

_But in the course of the years, something has changed. I mean I still want to stay young and be childish and spontaneous and laugh over stupid jokes and all that stuff._

_But I also want some of the adult stuff you know._

_I want to get married. I want to have children someday. I want to hold a little daughter in my arms and hear her calling me “daddy” for the first time._

_And you know why? Because of you Harry Styles. You make me wanna do all this stuff I was afraid of before.  
And it feels good, really good. I get so excited when I see my mums baby belly. Maybe we can babysit them sometimes next year. That would be awesome, don't you think?_

 

_I know it will take a while until we really can think about stuff like this._

_But I love to dream a little. And as Tinkerbell said Harry, dreams are forever._

 

_This is my second to the last letter for you. There is only one week left of this year._

_And I've told you before, I have written it down on paper, but I'm saying it again:_

 

_2014 is going to be our year Harry Styles._

 

_I don't say it's not going to be hard, because it will be._

_I don't say there won't be days where one of us is willing to give it all up._

_But I will be there for you and you will be there for me._

 

_When everything gets to much I can be your lost boy, your last chance, your “everything-better-plan”, somewhere in neverland._

 

_We will make it together, and it will be our year. I love you Harry Styles._

_And nothing is ever going to change that._

 

_Thank you for this year, even if it has been difficult. Thank you so much for every second with you, it has been amazing, it has been everything I wished for._

 

_Thank you for being the best boyfriend in the world._

_  
I love you, with all my heart Harry Edward Styles. And I will always love you._

_More than anything and everyone._

_I'm the luckiest man alive because I can call you mine._

 

_I'm in love with you baby cakes._

 

_always and forever, Louis_

 

_Ps: Thank you for making this christmas a very special one!_

 

 

By the time Harry finishes reading Louis is already asleep. One part of Harry wants to wake him up and kiss him endless times, telling him how much he loves him and how thankful he is for his love.

But he decides that there is enough time to let him know. So he closes his eyes and falls asleep slowly as his thoughts drift away to somewhere he can show the world how much he loves Louis.

And maybe, just maybe this somewhere is closer than he thinks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only one more letter. It is kind of sad.  
> I really enjoyed writing this and I'm so thankful for everyone who read it.   
> I love you :) Happy Holidays! xxx


	24. 12/24/2013

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Love is keeping the promise anyway.

Louis' birthday starts with an electricity cut. They have the boys over to drink a toast to Louis at midnight and they just joined into a birthday-group-hug as everything goes dark.

But they take advantage out of the situation and light candles everywhere until the house literally glows. And as the light comes on again about 20 minutes later they just turned it off and enjoy the magic of the moment.

It is raining outside and a biting wind pelts now and then. It's not really the weather you wish for on christmas but somehow, in this very moment, it's perfect. They are sitting around the fireplace and everything is quite despite he rain and the crackle of the fire.

They have warm blankets and hot chocolate Harry made and it his how it should be.

Sure they could be out, getting wasted, dancing in a club, but Louis doesn't want it like this. Not this time, not today.

He wants to remember every single moment of this. And he wants to spend it with the people he loves most in this big world.

And the other boys don't complain. It's beautiful and it's magical and they do stuff like this way to little.

Especially Harry loves this night. It's how he wants every day to be, from now on until forever.

 

They fall asleep by the fireplace. Harry is the last one to be awake so he stands up and puts out the candles and the fire before he cuddles himself in the space between Louis and Liam.

The 22-year old boy opens his eyes for a moment as he feels his boyfriend's hands on his skin.

“Happy Birthday Louis!” They kiss. “I love you.” “I love you too!”

 

As they wake up it is like 9 am and there are still a bit tired. But they don't have much time left till Liam, Zayn and Niall have to leave to visit their families.

So they stand up and prepare breakfast and have a very nice Christmas/Birthday morning.

 

“It's time for presents now! I can't eat any more!” The other boys laugh and stand up to get Louis' presents. They have planned it like this, Louis gets his birthday presents on the 24th and they will have their own little christmas party on Friday when everyone is back from their families.

“Mine first!” Niall says and hugs Louis once again to wish him happy birthday.

 

He has got him a few games for his new Playstation 4 and a bunch of music CD’s.  
“To keep you busy on the tour bus, because you are annoying when you're bored.”

And he has tickets for the last 16 match in the Champions LeagueManchester United FC vs. Olympiacous FC.

“Oh my got Niall, that's great, are you gonna join me? It is amazing, thank you!”

 

Liam has got him a signed jersey from David Beckham which makes the oldest boy go a little crazy.

“Are you insane? He wrote “For Louis, your friend David”. Are you going to kill me?” Liam

laughed and blushed a little, because Louis is so excited over his present. “I'm never going to wear anything else.” He undresses himself and puts the jersey over his head, before he hugs Liam.

 

Zayn has painted a picture for Louis which shows all five of them on stage, hugging. It's really beautiful and all the boys take a minute to admire it. Louis has tears in the corner of his eyes as he looks up. “Thank you Zayn. That is amazing. That is...” He can't continue speaking because this boys are everything to him and it seems almost unreal that he has them in his life.

He puts his arms around Zayn and the other boys join them.

 

“You get mine, when we are alone!” Harry whispers in his boyfriend's ear. “I already have the biggest present by having you here with me!”

 

But as soon as the other boys said their goodbyes Louis jumps around Harry in excitement. “Where is my present? Harry, babe, I've waited long enough!” The younger boy laughs. “Just a minute lovely.” He leads them into their bedroom. “Can you close your eyes for me baby?” He lets Louis sit down at the edge of their bed, before he gets the ring out of the bedside table. Then he sits down beside his boyfriend. He kisses him soft on the lips. “You can open them now.”

Louis opens his eyes with a bright smile and looks into Harry's emerald eyes. Then he glances at the ring in the other boys hand ans gasps. “Harry...what?”

Harry takes a deep breath before he begins to speak.

“This, Louis, a promise ring. Because you promised me so much with your letters and I wanted to make a few promises on my own. I'll never leave your side, Louis Tomlinson. And it might not be the right time now, because we're not even allowed to hold hands in public or anything, because most of the people outside still don't know about us, but someday, sooner or later, I'm going to marry you. And I'm going to love you until the end of time. This is what the ring promises!”

Harry had looked at his hands the whole time he spoke but now he looks up, a little shy, to see Louis' reaction. But he hadn't really expected him to cry.

“Louis please I...Oh my god...I didn't wanted to....” Louis puts a finger on his boyfriend's lips to stop him. “Shh Harry. It is perfect. It is more than this. It is everything you could have given me Harry. It is beautiful. Thank you.” He closes the distance between them and kisses his boyfriend. And even though he is still crying he smiles into the kiss. This is the perfect birthday and he knows that it is going to get even better. “There just one more thing you could to?” He whispers as he leaves marks on the taller boys collar bone. Harry smirks.  
“I guess I know where this is going.”

 

As Harry wakes up it is dark outside and he is alone in their bedroom.

He turns around to find a letter on Louis' pillow. The young boy smiles. The day was so exciting that he nearly forgot about this last letter.

 

 

_Harry, my love,_

 

_today is my 22nd birthday and people keep asking me what I want to have._

_But no mater how much I tried to think of something I really admire, there's nothing, nothing on this earth I could ever want more than I want you. I'm sure about this. I never was more sure about anything in my life._

 

_I felt it three years ago, but I was too shy to admit it._

_I felt it the first time we kissed but I was afraid to say it._

_I feel it now, stronger than ever._

_And I'm positive that I will feel it twenty, fifty, even a hundred years from now._

_And then I would like to be able to tell you everyday how much I love you._

 

_Our love means everything to me and you make me strong, stronger than I ever thought I could be._

_I'm ready to fight for it, I'm ready to stand up for it and I'm absolutely ready to tell it to the world, like I promised to._

 

_Speaking of promises, do you remember when I told you I'm going to make everything right two years ago? I didn't really know what would lie ahead of us back then.  
_

_John Green once wrote that some people do not understand the promises they're making when they make them. But they keep them anyway. Because that is love._

 

_I didn't know how difficult it would be to make it right, to fix everything. But I will keep my promise. Because love is keeping the promise anyway._

_And I love you.  
_

 

_I want you more than anything._

 

_So I'm asking you, and I mean it with all my heart._

 

_Harry Edward Styles,_

 

_will you please, please marry me?_

 

_Because I have no bigger wish than making you my husband as soon as possible._

 

_Forever Yours Louis Tomlinson_

 

 

_P.S.: I'm waiting for you in the living room._

 

 

 

The letter slips out of Harry's shaking hands as he finished it. Slowly he stands up, but he is not sure if he legs will hold him.

He makes his way to the living room with his heart beating faster than any time before in his life.

This has to be a dream because it is too good to be actually true. Maybe he his still sleeping.

Louis, holding on for his hand?

Sure they had talked about marriage before but it has always been kind of a joke.

And most of the time it had been him bringing it up to tease Louis. Like Lou was asking him for some help on a song and he was like 'only if we are getting married'. Or Louis wants something to eat and Harry pouts because 'he hasn't got a ring yet either'.

But that was just a joke, wasn't it?

 

As the curly-haired boy enters Louis' and his big living room he knows immediately that, at least this time, it is no joke. And maybe, just maybe his heart stopped for a second.

Louis has lit up all the candles in the room and the floor is covered in red rose petals.

And in the middle of the room there is Louis, down on his right knee, smiling fondly at his boyfriend.

 

“Will you be my husband, Harry Styles? Will you marry me?”

 

Harry can't speak, there is just no way. He is completely sure he is going to cry if he answers the question and he doesn't want to ruin this wonderful moment.

  
“Harry, love, could you please say something, because I'm starting to freak out down here.”

But instead of saying 'yes', because obviously there is no other possible answer for this, he gets down on his knees right in front of Louis to close the distance between them. He takes Louis' face into his hands and kisses him passionately. He lays all unspoken words, all his affection and all his love into this kiss and hopes Louis will understand.

 

They break apart after a while and Louis smiles brightly.

“So can I take this as a yes?” And yeah, he definitely can.

“Yes Louis Tomlinson. A thousand times yes.”

 

I doesn't matter any more that the tears are streaming down his face because he knows Louis doesn't care and that he will kiss them away. The only thing that matters right now is looking into his fiancé's beautiful blue eyes. Finacé...

 

“Your ring.” Harry looks at Louis in confusion. “I have a ring for you to tell everyone that your mine.” Harry trembles as Louis takes his hand and puts a wonderful ring on his finger.  
  


“You know, you scared the heck out of my earlier. For a moment I thought you were going to propose to me. But then you gave me the promise ring. And in this moment I was so sure about the engagement that I'd almost told you.” He kisses Harry softly. “It is perfect. Now we both have rings to show everyone that we belong together.”

Louis brings both of their hands together to look at the rings.

“But...” Harry shivers as his boyfriend intertwines their fingers.

 

“No Harry, no but. I don't care. You're mine, baby cakes and I'm so happy and so proud and I want them to know. The boys, our friends, our families, the fans, everyone.”

Harry smiles. “Okay?” He nods and kisses his finacé. “Okay.”

 

Louis pulls his arms around Harry and buries his head in his neck. “I was so afraid you'd say no.” He says while leaving small kisses on Harry's skin. “Never in a million years.”

Harry covers Louis' lips with his own and kisses him hard.

 

“You know how much I love you right now, Lou?” And by his smile Harry knows he does.

2014 is going to be a turbulent, but amazing year.

Their year.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my gosh, it's over...I hope you liked the ending :)
> 
> First of all, Merry Christmas to all of you wonderful people.  
> I'm so thankful for everyone who read this and I had so much fun thanks to you.  
> If you want to I would love to continue the story line :)
> 
> I hope you all have/had a wonderful christmas eve wherever you are!  
> I heard about the massive storm in Great Britain and France and hope everyone there is okay!  
> I wish you all happy holidays and a wonderful year 2014.
> 
> A special thanks goes to Diamond, because there were days when I wouldn't have continued without you and your comments were always so sweet so I'm sending you much love :)  
> Also a lots of love goes to DancerLittle, 1Ddreamlove and elliscake for their lovely words  
> and to really everyone who read this I'm so thankful. I love you all:)
> 
> And last but not least a more than Happy Birthday to the beautiful boy Louis Tomlinson because without him, there would be no story, obviously.
> 
> A very merry Christmas once again :)xxx
> 
> ________________________________  
> I'm sorry this note is really long but I just had to say thank you :)

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Hope you liked it :) 
> 
> I wish everyone of you a happy December. xxx


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